Broken dreams

Everyone has a dream. When you know that your dream can't come true, isn't it so disappointing. Everytime i think of mine. i can't help but turn moody and yea. sigh~
Sometimes wished that some1 will standby me quietly, understand me and hold me. hahas, I'm asking too much.

exams sucks. gonna fail the one i took that day. it's like so difficult. i didn't even finish studying the whole course book lah. got like 2 question in the paper i didn't know it's in the book lah. didn't even study till that chapters.. freak.

I know i'm so dead if i dont study. but still i dun feel the need to study. why -.- Bryan seems to like finish studying. always look so confident and always have the same answer with the majority when everyone compares ans after exam.

sian feel moody. im out of here.

i need a hug

Exams.

Weee. dunno wad's wrong with every1. cos no 1 is blogging, no 1 updates their blog. except me.. ahha finally im more consistant in blogging lah. im so proud of myself. hmmm but this will be one of the shortest blog entry i guess. cos i'm going out soon. To study ! wahah yea. you didnt read wrongly im gonna study. i hope. having my final exams like in a few days time and yes again i haven started yet.

Just pray for me guys, that i have the discipline to do so soon. this will be my last exam in poly. and i'm gonna graduate. cool. but even so. i dun seem to leave behind this sch. Many things happen and yea gd and bad. but i simply enjoyed it. and i'll definitely miss everything and everyone.

Everyone will always come to this point of life where you will have to say goodbye to some friends whom u are with everyday. Primary 6 u say gdbye to pple you know for 6 yrs. sec4 you say gdbye to buddies which have gone through so much with you. mostly troubles. like cheating in exams and yea im the 1 caught thx to some1 who told the teacher and almost got caned. Secondary sch is so fun. i guess that where it moulds most of your character. Poly is where i furhter improve and bring out more. =P think im crapping again~ lol. Poly is fun too though 50% of the time i skip sch. haven been to class for around 2 whole months already. friends i grew close in class is bryan and alvin.

Even though we didnt share all our personal stuffs but i guess we always count on each other to get things done. there's no need to worry will he do these on time anot, will he remember , etc. but can always trust them and everything will eventually falls in place.

Now this is realli the last stride in Poly. If i dun study i will not have the chance to for 2 years. haha i'll be bald and will be marching everyday -.- then that's another chapter of my life.

Crap i thought i wanted a short entry. haha guess im long winded. wooo my dad just gave me $100 bucks for nothing again~ sian. i everytimem feel quite irritated when he gives me extra $. dunno why oso. just dun like to get alot from them.

Im so fortunate compared to so many people. Though i might not have a family car. but im not poor either. my parents sacrifice so much working everyday. 1 year only take 10 days leave. wakes up 3 am in the morning and starts to work. Does nothing but work not for themselves but for me and my bro. some pple have extra money they will like go for holiday or whatsoever but my parents will just give to us without fail. and yes though i dun get a lot like some rich man son. But for a hawker's son i think im damn rich already.

Was in a cab 1 day and he ask me how much my dad gives me a month and i told him. and the man told me he onli gives his son 1/2 my amount. that when i feel so fortunate and now im getting extra money. ahhhh. Seeing them getting more and more haggard each day. i can't help but thank God that He had given them to me. This is the best way to explain wad's love about. i love my family.

Singapore idol dreams...

Singapore Idol is over for me... sigh.. super sad. anyway.. if you all want to hear wad's going on in my 2 days of sigapore idol auditions den continue ba.. if not u all can go visit other blogs already. hee cos i'll go on and on and keep complaining.

SINGAPORE IDOL

8AM must report. But i woke up at er 11+? ahha reach there at around 1 pm and met my secondary band friend. She plays the clarinet.. anyway, yea. when we reachthere it's like alot of pple la.. and we are like the last row -.- the weather is hot and yea irritating.. we have to like queue under the sun. dumb. waited till like around 4+ den Gurmit Singh came and announce that last audition will be at 8pm. the rest just continue to queue to register.. yep. so keep queueing lor. more pple add on to the queue. So we kept chatting lar and keep making friends there. Every1 there is like smoking there. and i MEAN EVERY1. 8 out of 10 la.. i'm like heavy 2nd hand smoker. i sure die earlier lah. i rather smoke. Yep so long nv smoke le...

We see so many people coming and many leaving the queue. hmm Queue moved damn slow.. and YES DAMN SLOW!!!! haha.. but now come to think of it i didnt regret my choice of joining. if given the same chance, yea, i'll go. it's fun in some ways. and the people there are really cool. Though 80% are smokers. i dun hate smokers, cos i was once like them.. i grew up associating with these kind of poepl.. im street wise. learn everything by trying.. and mixing around with people of good and bad.

So yea.. queue moved and i fianlly registered.. cant believed it.. i registered at around like 8. didnt realli take notice. time at tt moment dun seem to exist. cos waiting was my life then. So we were told that we will be given the priviledge to like "cut" the queue the nxt day lah.

So yep.. i turned up at 12noon as told.. yep every1 is there ahah. the same people. same order.. come to think of it. seems like i have known them like forever. lol. like at least know them for 2 yrs? keep chatting lah.. The queue today moved super fast today compared to ytd. dunno why oso. yep. chat chat chat chat chat.. den is our turn already. started to paste the super big number tag on the chest area.. it's like super obsene can. all the gals are like pressing their breasts like they nv press before lah.. super funny. then, it's super difficult for them to make it like nice cos it's like super uneven. den when they sit down. the whole thing becomes crumpled badly.. den to adjust they keep pressing.. hilarous. My fren wore and tube. so yea. worst.

so yep. we were brief under a tent 1st and before i walk into the tent A FREAKING CROW SHIT ON MY SHIRT AHHHHH CURSE UR BALLS!!!! so all the contestants i knew all help to clean my shirt lol and it's as gd as new.. thx guys. started to walk to into cineleisure. every1 is looking. it's so fun like as if we were already idols. =) camera crews all following. and we even had "personel lifts" (they enclosed the area only for us) how cool is it ah. the auditions is held in cinemas. so yea we were seated outside. and yes.. feel so shiok again. cos there's like 4 spot lights shining at the whole area when it's already so bright. hee. then waited for our turn to sing. THIS IS THE FASTEST PART LA. cos we need not sing the whole song.. so every 1 onli like choose 1 verse and chorus. so it's like super fast.. 1 person around 2 mins.. so it's like in out in out. the nxt thing i know it's me.. and i started walking in. The stage is super bright with millions of spot light. and the judges were behind and too dark as they are sitting behind the spotlights. 1 super big camera in front of you. LOL.

judges: HI
Me: Hi, im roy and im here to sing ghost of you by BBMAK.
judge 1 : ok BBMAK..
judge 2 : what you and me (talk to judge 1)
me : Ghost.
judge 2 : Ghost?

----silence---

so yea i started singing.. freak she dun even know wad is the song lah. sucker. as if i sing well she knows like that. freak shit. GO AND DIE LA. arrgghhh. so yea.. after that we were brought to the results area and yep. i was uper down. sigh.. got a feeling i'll get eliminated. cos 1. the judge dunno my song. 2. all the people i got to know there 2 were from VOCAL SCHOOL. 1 joined the malay idol show.. wad anugarah or what. sry dunno the spelling and he got quite far in if im not wrong. and some sing for pubs.. and me? sing in my toilet only lor while bathing. and my fren join season 1 SI and she got in 2 auditions if im not wrong. sian. so yea.. i think when i sing after them im like lousy? lol 3. i suck..

so yea.. left the place super sadly.. that's the end of my idol road... lol hang ard for a while and see those vocal sch guys holding the singapore idol paper.. i'm like f********* lol hmm.. nvm.. every1 went out to me.. im so sad.. and did i smoke? ahha it's for you to guess.. =)

that's all lar.. went to city link and collect my mum's b day cake. yep.. im back to me.. just a moment of fame.. my nick is cool. 1 min of fame. a few mins of disappointment but a lifetime of fufilment..

Everyone has a dream.. mine is to sing to a crowd. i didn't manage to sing to a crowd but i sang to 5 strangers. and im proud of myself.. the application form asked what is your greatest achievement to date? i wrote is to have the courage to join Singapore Idol. cos not everyone has the courage and yes i did it.cos i always dun have the courage to do something "loud" Finally i did something for myself. This is my dream.

ps: want to thank Der and Lydia for coming down to support me.. though it's a while but yea.. helps alot. My bro came too but yea he dunno i have a blog.

Shivers....

Singapore idol auditions in just a few hours time la... help.. i really dun dare to go lar. wa lao.

There are two kinds of people la.. just like the bilbe says. people who will pull you down and pple who will encourage you. In times like this, i saw this two. pple discourage me and pple who encourage me. though they might be joking but they dunno how much it means actually. im glad that Glenn called me. didnt know he actually remembered.Kah yan was at the backgrd. haha.thx pals.

dunno wad to blog and dunno wad to do.. im just too scared to do anything. sigh. i dun think i can get in the sudition.. cos i have stage fright.. cant perform .. hmm.. dun think i can sing properly.. sian.

1st Feb 2006

School have been total boredom now. I dunno why but it seems pointless to go school. I'm not listening in class. Thinking if the 3 reports i have to hand in makes my life worst. Got 1 must have at least 60-70 pages. How the heck can i do that -.-

Sha and zac went back to aussie alr.. sigh. guess it will be damn weird without them. The youth will look small again. Went to the airport to send them off. So many people went =). Almost the whole youth. Thx for the ride Der. it'd be better if u send me home nxt time ahhahahahas. The gals cried.. hmm. Silly gals. They will be back soon la.. er think happy thoughts.

Went out with lydia again.. ahha she is getting a lil out of hand nowadays. Anw she was constantly "suan" by me the whole day =P . She did so mani embarrassing things la. like scream right in front of a strangers face la... like a 15 cm ruler distance hahas. den whole day hide behind me.. We were walkin all ard suntec and marina la. no movies to watch. LLydia was sweet enough to buy me 2 presents. i was realli kidding actually. wannted to treat her dinner in return but she dun want. dunno why oso. -.- Tab joined us.. and yep havoc.. ahha we played arcade la.. was realli fun. and they liek screamed non stop haha. they 2 vs me oso lose sigh.. what to say. I'm too gd! =))))

Lyd say i didn't blog enough.. =( im like trying rite. better den last time 2 months once. 11th Feb is like drawing near. HOW HOW HOW. shoud i or should i not.. ahhhhh.
i realli think i can't realli sing la. sianz. dunno wad song also. how...